The dating world is hard enough finding the right person, but in this day in age, we are thrown for another loop with social media. There’s no rule book for how to handle relationships online, you just have to go with your gut, but what if your gut feeling is all wrong? Here are a few tips and tricks for how to handle relationships through social media. It might shock you what you didn’t think about.
1. I met someone and we seem to have hit it off, we’ve exchanged numbers, but how do I approach talking to them via social media?
You don’t want to come off as a creepy stalker, but sometimes you need to get the ball rolling. So how do you show someone you’re interested through the best social media outlet? There’s a level system that we try to follow that helps with how we contact people through social media. The lowest level is real time picture chatting apps such as Snapchat. Why not send them a quick Snapchat of something you two would both find funny? Just be careful with what you send because people are able to screenshot those pics. If you get a Snapchat back, keep this flirtation going, it will most likely lead to more. Beginning to communicate through Snapchat opens doors to becoming Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram friends, which leads to the next level of social communication, Facebook chat. If the one you’re interested in keeps chatting you back, you can jump to the next level, Facebook messages. Once you’ve messaged back and forth, you’re probably ready to jump to text messaging, if you aren’t doing that already. At this level you should be flirting and able to initiate hanging out. We tend to save the final level, phone calls, for a more personal relationship, for say dating. Once you’re at that level, you should be on your way to something that’s more than just a fling. If on any of these levels it seems like you’re doing all the talking, chill out and play it cool, otherwise you’ll look like you’re coming on too strong and scare them off.
2. But what if I don’t have their number?
It’s time to get creative. You can actually skip the first two steps and go straight to Facebook messaging, for you don’t have to be Facebook friends to send messages. This way you can reach out in a chill manner, like “hey, great seeing you the other day, I was going to ask to see if you wanted to get dinner sometime, but I didn’t have your number.” And go from there. The main point to stress is that you have to be cool and somewhat patient, but your waiting should pay off.
3. Relationship Status: Is it okay to post about my romantic life?
Some critics believe you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry, and they might have a valid point. When beginning a new relationship, it’s already complicated enough introducing your new boo to everyone, why add the digital world to that mix? By keeping your Facebook relationship quiet, you avoid people interfering, unwanted judgment, crazy exes blowing up your phone, lectures from overprotective parents, and you keep nosy co-workers out of your personal life. But on the other side, if you’re single and looking for a relationship, what better method is there than letting all your Facebook friends know you’re single and looking.
In terms of sharing actual details and status updates of your relationship, an article by allfacebook.com says, “A new study by Abine shows that many people aren’t shy about posting information such as relationship status and sexual orientation.” The Abine study found that out of 1000 U.S. adults, 53 percent said they post about their love lives on Facebook, compared with 37 percent who do so on other social media sites. Of people who post about their love lives online, the most common thing to post about is relationship status (81%).
So the conclusion: It is all about personal preference, but if you want to show some love, it’s totally acceptable to let the world know who your significant other is, but please, make sure it’s serious.
4. How do I share my relationship online without over sharing?
Like all other things with social media, moderation is key. You don’t post a billion of pictures of your dog, the cutest thing that ever lived, on Facebook, so why would it be different with your significant other? A few couple photos here and there, that’s perfectly okay, but no one cares about your daily couple selfie. Also have some class. No one wants to see you all over your boyfriend in public or online. Your sloppy kiss photos are better left as private moments for you and your other half. And you don’t need to regularly profess your love or give the digital community a play-by-play of your relationship. Share some words of encouragement here and there, show a little affection, but you don’t need to get mushy all over your significant other’s profile or update us about how your love muffin found your ticklish spot… again. All your social media friends see that, taking what should be a personal sentiment to something your whole social media network reads. There’s a way to be fun and flirty through social media without over sharing. If it’s something you wouldn’t read about another couple or wouldn’t like to see, then why post it yourself? Sometimes less is more.
5. What happens when things go South?
Breaking up is hard to do, and when dealing with social media, it’s like breaking up all over again. Luckily for Facebook users, there’s an app, KillSwitch, which completely rids any signs of that pesky ex. The only set back is you still have to be friends with them for it to work. In cases of other social media accounts, the best way to handle the breakup is to make a clean break. Clear out everything and anything that reminds you of them, you’ll thank yourself for that later. Yes it may be embarrassing for people to see online that you just went through a breakup, but we’ve all gone through it, we know and understand the drill.